The Bachelorette Season 20 Episode 8 The Men Tell All Recap – Biggest Moments

Summary

• “The Men Tell All” episode of The Bachelorette season 20 addressed the romance and drama of the season as former suitors returned to confront each other and Charity about their experiences.
• Brayden Bowers explained why he came back after self-eliminating, expressing that he wanted to say everything he didn’t get a chance to say to Charity.
• Charity and Xavier Bonner spoke for the first time since their devastating breakup.

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The Bachelorette season 20’s “The Men Tell All” episode addressed the romance and drama of the season, as Charity Lawson and several of the men returned to discuss their journeys. Hosted by Jesse Palmer, “The Men Tell All” welcomed back Charity’s former suitors, John Buresh, Sean McLaughlin, Adrian Hassan, Xavier Bonner, Brayden Bowers, Spencer Storbeck, Peter Cappio, James Pierce, Caleb Balgaard, John Henry Spurlock, Tanner Courtad, Aaron Schwartzman, and Michael Barbour. They confronted each other and Charity about their experiences.

On The Bachelorette season 20, Charity has now narrowed down her 25 men to just three: Dotun Olubeko, Joey Graziadei, and Aaron Bryant. Charity had eliminated Aaron after his hometown date, but he returned to ask for a second chance. As Charity heads toward her finale, and hopefully a proposal, she has a big decision to make. However, before the ending is revealed, “The Men Tell All” took a look back at how things unfolded throughout the season. Here are the biggest moments from the exciting episode.

Related: The Bachelorette Season 20 Episode 7 Recap – Who Went Home Tonight? + Biggest Moments

Brayden Bowers Explains Why He Came Back

Brayden was one of the most polarizing contestants of the season. The men viewed him as a villain, while he saw himself as someone who stayed true to himself and wasn’t fake. When Michael asked why Brayden came back after he self-eliminated, Brayden explained that he didn’t get to say everything that he wanted to say to Charity.

John told him that he was hurt that Brayden took his moment from him. However, Brayden countered that he waited for John to wipe Charity’s makeup off his face after making out with her before he even let his presence be known. Aaron S. defended Brayden, saying that he was running on his emotions and asking how they could fault him for that.

Brayden Denies Calling Charity “Classless”

Adrian and Brayden discussed how upset Brayden was when he heard that Charity kissed Joey for nearly four and a half minutes in front of the other men when they broke the Bachelor Nation record for the longest kiss. Adrian felt that Brayden had signed up for the wrong show if he didn’t want to see Charity kissing other people. Brayden explained that there was a difference between her kissing people in the house, and the men being forced to watch her kiss Joey. Xavier told Brayden that it was a competition, and the other men should’ve had better answers so that they could’ve won the kiss with Charity.

Brayden then called out the guys for not being true to their genuine selves while they were on the show. Adrian then told Brayden that Brayden was telling the guys one thing and Charity something else. When Brayden asked for an example, he said that Charity was shocked when he told her about Brayden’s doubts. He reasoned that if Brayden had told her the whole truth, it wouldn’t have been a surprise. He said that he didn’t share anything that wasn’t a hundred percent true, but Brayden disagreed.

Brayden explained that Adrian told Charity that Brayden called her “classless,” which he denied. Adrian replied that he wouldn’t have made it up. Xavier questioned whether the producers had the tape to prove it or not. Adrian asked if anyone else heard Brayden say that the kissing date was classless and disrespectful. Brayden then asked Jesse if it happened, and Jesse said that he didn’t know. Brayden then asked the audience, some of whom said yes. He conceded that apparently maybe he had said it. However, the show then ran a message saying, “A search was made for footage of Brayden calling Charity ‘classless.’ So far, no footage has surfaced.”

Brayden Confronts Tanner About His Comments

Tanner explained that his problem with Brayden was that he got validation week after week, including the first impression rose and his one-on-one date. However, Brayden became more negative every single week, when the other men would’ve loved to have spent that time with Charity. Brayden explained that he was having trouble forming a connection with Charity because everyone was going behind his back and talking about him to her.

Xavier told Brayden that he wasn’t smart about what he said. Brayden sarcastically replied that he should’ve been smart, played a game, and manipulated everyone. Xavier explained that it wasn’t a game, but he should be careful with his words. James defended Brayden saying that his biggest problem was that he was too honest and he has “weird earrings.” He didn’t see how it was that big of an issue.

Brayden explained that what bothered him was that none of the other guys ever told him to his face that they had problems with him. He heard it all from Charity or watching the show. He said that he and Tanner were roommates in Washington, and he thought they were boys, but it hurt to see his comments about him.

Tanner told him that he said those things because Brayden was able to talk himself out of every problem with Charity, and he felt like he was going to keep doing it. He felt that Brayden was taking the attention away from everyone else in Washington, and it was annoying in the moment. Tanner said that a lot of people on that group date felt the same way, but only his interviews were shown.

Related: Joey’s Uncle Is The Bachelorette Season 20 Villain After Disastrous Hometown Date

Sean Explains His Behavior After The Bachelorette Barbie Sing-Off

James shared that he was really frustrated by Sean after Sean won one-on-one time with Charity at the Bachelorette Barbie Sing-Off. However, he wasn’t bothered by the one-on-one time. Rather, James explained that there was mutual respect among the guys, and he didn’t like when Sean came back from his one-on-one time and sat on the couch where he knew Charity would sit. Then he asked to speak to her right away at the beginning of the night, and talked to her for thirty minutes. James only had three minutes with Charity at the end of the night because there just wasn’t enough time.

Tanner laughed that he never wanted to punch somebody in the face more. Aaron S. added that it wasn’t the fact that Sean spoke to her first that he had a problem with. He joked that they were a group of loser Kens all sitting in a room together, and the last thing that they wanted to see was Sean coming in skipping and singing a song. Aaron S. said that Sean walked into a hornet’s nest, and he knew it too.

Sean explained that what was really funny about that moment was that, when he had left the guys after that incredible date, everyone was vibing with each other. They were dancing, singing, and having a good time. That was how he left the guys. When he returned to them, he thought everyone would still be happy. Sean was shocked when they weren’t.

Peter Cappio Reveals Behind-The-Scenes Cyber Bullying

Peter, who Charity sent home on premiere night, tried to interrupt Sean. Caleb then asked who he was. Jesse stepped in to explain that Peter had no drama until he went home. Peter then explained that after the season wrapped, they had a cast Zoom call, during which 15 or 16 of the guys put the initials F.P. after their posts. He said that Brayden was man enough to go to him and tell him that it meant “F*** Peter.”

Peter said that he went to bed that night kind of confused and ultimately pretty upset. He didn’t know any of the guys, and had only met them for about five minutes. For them to put it online for the world to see really affected him. Xavier then said that they shouldn’t have done it, and it was “a bad play.” He said that it was just an inside joke, and nobody would’ve known it was against Peter if Brayden hadn’t told him.

Jesse showed examples of the posts, including those of Sean, Brayden, and Aaron B. Peter said that he didn’t know what it meant at the time. He shared that the thing that upset him a lot was that his family, parents, church group, and volunteer group all saw it. Jesse asked him if he had any idea night one that he was rubbing people the wrong way like that. He said that he had no idea, and when Brayden told him he was shocked. Peter asked why they would put that online because he he’d never done anything to them personally.

Aaron S. responded, “Because you are a b****. That is what you are.” Peter replied that he’d never done anything to them or their families. Caleb explained that Peter “said F*** you to every single dude that tried to speak to you.” Xavier interrupted and said that he didn’t agree with that. John then explained that the very first night, Peter sat down, making sure that the camera was getting him at the right angle, and asked him who he thought was there for the wrong reasons. John said that made him think that Peter was.

Aaron S. shared that, after everyone got home, Peter was the first one on the Zoom call to ask about endorsement deals, and he was on the show “for five seconds.” He remembered Peter laughing and saying, “Thanks for putting me on the map. I’ll make a t-shirt out of it.” Caleb added, “And monetize it.” Tanner said that it was because Peter was trying to make a joke out of it, and it was always a joke. Aaron S. stated that now he was using the platform as a pity party.

Although many of the men were still very upset with Peter, Xavier told him that he was sorry for putting F.P. on his page. He told him that he thought it was an inside joke, but it was wrong. He said that he himself was a good guy, and he made a mistake. Xavier then shook Peter’s hand. Jesse concluded by asking Peter if he actually ever made t-shirts. Peter responded that of course he didn’t and he never said he would. Aaron S. retorted that they should run the tape back because it would show everyone how fake Peter was.

Related: Will The Bachelorette’s Aaron Bryant Be On Bachelor In Paradise Season 9? (Spoilers)

Brayden Discusses His Confrontations With The Men

Brayden then sat in the hot seat and discussed his relationship with Charity. He explained that once he realized that he couldn’t give her what she wanted, he knew that he shouldn’t be there anymore. He left and came back to let her know that it wasn’t her, but the experience, that got to him. When Brayden was leaving the second time, he was trying to just keep his head down and not take away any more time from the guys.

Brayden admitted that he was ready to fight Aaron B. when the men chased him to the van. He confessed that he’s not an aggressive person, and it’s not often that he wants to fight people. However, he was ready to fight him. Brayden also revealed that there was no driver in the van when Aaron B. said hit the gas. He said that he said it to nobody. Brayden concluded by saying that he thought he rubbed so many people the wrong way because he can come across as arrogant or cocky. He said that he’s “not your traditional type of guy I guess.”

Brayden Gives Jesse A Pair Of Earrings To Wear

Brayden then discussed his unique sense of style, stating that clothes are a fun way for him to express himself. He revealed that earrings are a new thing for him, and he just got his ears pierced last year. Jesse noted that Brayden bought a lot of earrings in a short time. Brayden explained that when he finds something he likes, he dives into it, and it becomes a part of him. Brayden then gave Jesse a pair of dangling clip-on earrings to wear. Jesse immediately put them on.

Jesse Shares A Sneak Peek Of Brayden From Bachelor In Paradise Season 9

Jesse confirmed that Brayden will appear on Bachelor in Paradise season 9, and shared a clip of Brayden hanging out with Kat Izzo from Zach Shallcross’ Bachelor season. In the teaser, Kat told Brayden that she liked his earrings, and he told her that she was the only person who did.

In her confessional, Kat said that she was taken by surprise by Brayden. She explained, “It’s not just that he’s hot. I mean, he has depth. And that’s honesty few and far between to even find these days in men. He’s like a Golden Retriever. And I love it.” Kat told Brayden he was funny, and they kissed. Brayden told the cameras, “She’s a great kisser. Kat Izzo is a great kisser. 10/10. Recommend.” Brayden seemed embarrassed as he watched the clip.

Related: The Bachelorette Season 20 Charity’s Hometown Dates Ranked From Worst To Best

Xavier Explains Why He Told Charity He Loved Her Right Before He Left

Xavier then sat in the hot seat. He explained that when he brought up his past infidelity, he just wanted to be honest with Charity. The conversation just didn’t happen the way he planned it to happen. He confessed that he stuck his foot in his mouth, and he made a mistake.

Xavier then revealed that he told Charity that he loved her right before he left because he wanted to let her know how he truly felt about her. One of his biggest fears is for love to not be reciprocated to him. At his hometown, he’d told Charity that he was falling in love with her, and he guessed that he expected her to say it back. He admitted that he shouldn’t have expected it, but the fear arose and took him back to that really hard time. Xavier added that he “kind of just melted.”

Xavier then told Jesse that he had been in love with Charity, and it was really difficult to move on from that because the feelings just don’t go away. He thought about their time together literally every day. Xavier said that he had to get a therapist because he felt that there was some work that he had to do on himself in order to be ready for somebody who is his forever person.

Charity Confronts Brayden

Jesse then welcomed Charity to the stage. She first addressed the Brayden situation. She said that they really clicked. He had a very charismatic energy and personality, and obviously the chemistry was there. Charity thanked him for coming on the journey, and said that it was an honor and pleasure meeting him. However, she added that she didn’t like how he talked about their relationship to other guys. It was hard for her to watch back.

Charity stated that she was caught off guard by Brayden’s comments of wanting her to turn off being the Bachelorette. She felt like she was her one hundred percent authentic self to him the whole time. However, she didn’t regret anything. She said that she gave him a lot more grace than she should’ve given him, but she was grateful for the whole experience. Brayden responded that Charity was a hundred percent valid in how she was feeling. He apologized if him talking to the guys hurt her in any way. Brayden told Charity that he was grateful that he got to meet her.

Charity Explains Her Breakup With John

After Sean and Tanner thanked Charity for their time with her, John admitted that he was surprised by their breakup. He felt that he had a stronger connection with her than some of the other guys who stayed. He asked her what happened. Charity responded that it was a tricky question to answer because she didn’t want anyone leaving the experience thinking that they did something wrong or that they weren’t enough. She said it was nothing John did, but rather what she thought she was looking for or needed as the weeks progressed. Charity told him that she didn’t want him to think it was him because he’s “awesome.”

Related: Who Does The Bachelorette’s Charity Lawson Choose? Clues Point To The Possible Winner (It’s Not Who You Think)

Charity Confronts Xavier

Charity admitted that it was hard to see Xavier for the first time since their breakup. She didn’t see the breakup coming. She felt that he should’ve told her way ahead of time that he wasn’t ready to get engaged. Xavier then denounced cheating, saying that he doesn’t think that anyone should ever cheat. If there’s a problem in a relationship, the couple should focus on making it better.

Xavier told Charity that, in Fiji, there was no doubt in his heart that he was ready to be with her. However, in his head, he had that doubt and he didn’t know how to suppress it. He assured her that he could be a faithful person. However, Charity responded that they were a week out from a proposal, and they should’ve had that conversation much earlier, perhaps in New Orleans or Washington. She told him that the conversation would’ve saved her a lot of pain. She hated to say it, but she didn’t think she would’ve brought him to that point because she would’ve known then that he wasn’t ready.

Charity said that instead of saying that he didn’t want to cheat on her, Xavier should’ve said, “I won’t cheat on you.” He agreed. She said that it was plain and simple that if he had love for her or cared for her, he wouldn’t do that. Charity then confronted him about how he said, “I love you,” right before he left when he had the whole day to say it. She told him that saying it wasn’t going to turn around the situation.

Xavier explained that he knew she was sending him home, and he just wanted to let her know how he felt. He said that he wanted to give them a chance because he really loved her, and not knowing how she felt about him really messed up his mind. Charity responded that she had asked him what reassurance he needed and questioned if he had doubts because she hadn’t verbalized that she was in love with him yet. He’d told her no. She explained that she told him what she liked about him, and she hadn’t told anyone she loved them yet. She didn’t take saying I love you lightly.

Charity stated that she repeatedly asked Xavier if he trusted himself to be committed, and he repeatedly said that he didn’t know and that marriage scared him. She told him she’d be a fool to think things were great after he said that. Xavier responded that with marriage, there’s a fear of commitment and fear of marrying the wrong person. He allowed that to consume him instead of allowing himself to hone in on what was beautiful about being with her.

Xavier admitted that he sometimes shed tears about their conversation because it was really tough for him to share that part about him and have it go so horribly. Xavier wished his answers reflected the man that he wants to be in the future, which is the faithful man to his wife. He thanked her, and said that he wasn’t just trying to get into the Fantasy Suite to be intimate with her. Instead, his goal was to hear more and deepen the connection they had. Xavier genuinely saw Charity as his wife, and he was trying to do everything in his power to allow her to know exactly who he was.

Xavier Gives Charity A Gift

Xavier concluded by saying that he wasn’t going to lie and say that he didn’t still have feelings for Charity. He said that it was great to sit next to her. He was happy that they could have some sort of closure because they ended so abruptly. He said that he gets emotional about that because “it really messed me up.”

Xavier then left the stage to get a rose that he knitted for her. He told her that he was super happy and hopeful that she found her forever person. Charity thanked him and told him that she hoped he took the experience and used it to his advantage. She was glad they got to talk, and she wished him the best. They ended their conversation with a hug.

Related: Brayden (& His Earrings) Left Behind A Boring Season Of The Bachelorette

Jesse Shares Never-Before-Seen Bachelorette Season 20 Moments Including Bloopers

After sharing some hilarious, never-before-seen clips from the Barbie Sing-Off and the Dodge Bowl date, Jesse introduced the much-anticipated blooper reel. It featured loud background noises, people accidentally breaking things, the set falling apart, and people banging their heads on the light fixtures. In addition, someone yelled out, “Work it, baby!” to Tanner while he was filming a confessional in his Ice Skater Ken outfit. Charity was also shown hilariously regretting eating five breath strips before her kissing contest smooch with Joey. In addition, Jesse scared Charity and Tanner while they were kissing outside by showing up in his Bigfoot costume.

Captain Tom Gives Out A Rose

In another funny moment, Captain Tom, the swampboat captain from Tanner and Sean’s two-on-one New Orleans date, made an appearance. Since Charity didn’t give either man a rose on the date, Jesse asked who Captain Tom would give one to. He chose Sean, and asked him if he’d accept his rose. Sean did, and hugged him, calling it a good consolation prize.

Former Bachelorettes Return

Former Bachelorettes Trista Sutter (season 1, 2003), Desiree Siegfried (season 9, 2013), and DeAnna Pappas (season 4, 2008) appeared on the show to give updates about their lives and give Charity advice. DeAnna joked that if the producers ever planned The Golden Bachelorette, she was available after her separation from her husband, Stephen Stagliano.

Trista told Charity that the key to a long-lasting, healthy marriage is forgiveness. Desiree said that a couple has to choose to prioritize the relationship because there is so much pressure, and so many opinions. When Charity asked how to deal with social media after the show, DeAnna told her to remember who she is at her core. She told her that she had done a really good job of being herself and standing up for who she was and what she believed in. She encouraged her to still do that, and to not let people take that away from her.

Trista shared that she felt so maternal toward everyone on the show because she was the original Bachelorette, and she was so proud of Charity. Jesse gushed that it was empowering to see the former Bachelorettes come back to support Charity. DeAnna said that they’re a tight group of people and each other’s biggest supporters. Trista added, “We are family.”

Related: Will The Bachelorette’s Tanner Courtad Be On Bachelor In Paradise Season 9? (Spoilers)

The Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner Makes An Appearance

Jesse then introduced Gerry, the 71-year-old retired restaurateur from Warsaw, IN who will search for love again on The Golden Bachelor. In his video package, he said, “I am going to be the first Golden Bachelor because it’s never too late to fall in love again.” Gerry revealed that he married his high school sweetheart, Toni, in 1972. They had 43 wonderful years together. They had two daughters and two granddaughters. Gerry had retired, and when Toni also retired at the end of May in 2017, they bought their dream house. They closed on it on June 6 of that year.

Tragically, very soon after, Toni became ill, and her situation became worse over a couple of weeks. Gerry took her to the emergency room on July 7, and she passed away on July 15. She had a bacterial infection that infected her kidneys and her liver. Gerry shared that no one would ever replace Toni. He added that the love of his daughters and his granddaughters pulled him out of a dark spot. Gerry now hopes to fall in love again.

Jesse asked Gerry if there would be Fantasy Suites on his season, and Gerry said yes. However, they might look a little different. He said that it was a long way down the journey. Jesse then asked Charity’s men if they had any advice for Gerry. Brayden told him that he had already had the relationship that they wanted, and it was beautiful. He told him to stay true to himself. Aaron S. told Gerry that they want to be like him because he’s genuine and true.

Gerry’s advice for a long-lasting, happy marriage was for spouses to tell each other they love each other every day. He explained that the day comes too soon when one of them can’t do that. He would do anything to be able to do that one more time. Gerry said to give them that hug. Jesse then asked Gerry if he could find a love like the one he had with Toni twice in a lifetime.

Gerry said that he didn’t think that was what he was looking for. He explained, “What I look for at the age of 70 is different than what I looked for when I was in high school or college. So I believe I’ll find my person. The new person that will make me whole again.” Gerry said that they’ll have a wonderful relationship, but he didn’t think it would look like the relationship he had with Toni. He added, “And I don’t think it would be right it do it that way.” The “Men Tell All” episode ended with Charity’s guys wishing Gerry luck.

Jesse Gives A Sneak Peek Of The Bachelorette Season 20 Finale

Jesse teased that The Bachelorette season 20 finale would be more emotional and more heartbreaking than anyone could imagine. A sneak peek showed Charity saying that she was in love and knew that she was getting engaged, but she didn’t know who it would be. All three of her men, Aaron, Joey, and Dotun, were sure that they wanted to get engaged to her.

Charity then admitted that she never imagined being in love with three incredible guys, and, for the first time in all of this, she was truly “not okay.” She sought advice from her mother, who’s her best friend, but her mom said that she didn’t want to give it. She believed that deep down inside, Charity knew what she wanted, and she had to make that decision. The clip ended with Charity saying that she was very torn. She cried that it didn’t make sense, saying, “You are not supposed to say goodbye to somebody that you love.” Charity’s The Bachelorette three-hour live finale airs Monday, August 21.

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